hose of you with nothing better to do Regular readers may recall that so far I’ve seen the Emergency Team, the Consultant, Orthoptics (twice) and the Senior Registrar (once). Today it was the turn of the Ophthalmologist ( a hospital ophthalmologist is similar to the high street optician, but without the bit where they try to sell you a new pair of glasses).
We went through my history which is, by now, a long list of things that aren’t wrong with my eyes. Then there were a few eye tests which established that, with glasses, I have twenty-twenty vision (without glasses, I can’t see the eye chart, let alone read it). So that’s fine. Except that it’s not.
And that’s where the ophthalmologist’s grandmother came in. Not literally, obviously – more as a way of reinforcing the ophthalmologist’s professional advice.
As Sherlock Holmes said, “When you have eliminated the impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth”. The truth, on this occasion boils down to dry eyes. And the wonder cure for dry eyes is cod liver oil. In fact, according to grandma, cod liver oil is the wonder cure for pretty much everything. Cue the story of the sick cat which grandma treated by smearing it with cod liver oil which (being a cat) it licked off and was miraculously cured.
Well, if it’s good enough for the cat …