So I was in Tesco’s – topping up on batteries and shower gel at 11:00 on Monday night (as you do) when I was stopped in my tracks by the news that the store (and, for all I know, the entire supermarket chain) had donated their surplus Halloween stock to cats. For the second year running.
Now usually, my imagination would seize on this and conjure of vision of … something. When I worked for the council, we once got a message about somebody in County Engineers’ who was taking part in the Transplant Olympics. I immediately had a vision of a packed Roman amphitheatre in the centre of which were a series of operating tables surrounded by surgeons, knives poised, waiting for the off. But cats and Halloween stock – I’m going to have to think about that.
Research first. What do you get if you Google “Tesco”+”Halloween”?
Well, “there are lots of ideas for Halloween all year round from Tesco Living Online” (living?) including “no-carve Halloween pumpkin ideas”. And then there are recipes for “eerie pear ghosts” and “eyeball cake pops”.
And – oh look – costumes!. Mmm, let’s see … Second Skin Mummy costume? Bit difficult over a fur coat. What about a Minnie Mouse Halloween Dress Up costume? Could trigger a bit of an identity crisis. Skeleton Onesie? Might be a possibility. Glow-in-the-dark Skeleton Slippers? That’s more like it – something to keep your paws warm.
Why do I get the eerie feeling that I’m going to turn into my road one night soon to find that the duty cat has been replaced by a very small skeleton wearing glow-in-the dark slippers and licking its lips to remove the last traces of an eyeball cake pop? I blame Tesco.