So I was in Tesco’s – topping up on batteries and shower gel at 11:00 on Monday night (as you do) when I was stopped in my tracks by the news that the store (and, for all I know, the entire supermarket chain) had donated their surplus Halloween stock to cats. For the second year running.

Noitice about store donating halloween goods to charityNow usually, my imagination would seize on this and conjure of vision of … something. When I worked for the council, we once got a message about somebody in County Engineers’ who was taking part in the Transplant Olympics. I immediately had a vision of a packed Roman amphitheatre in the centre of which were a series of operating tables surrounded by surgeons, knives poised, waiting for the off. But cats and Halloween stock – I’m going to have to think about that.

Research first. What do you get if you Google “Tesco”+”Halloween”?

Well, “there are lots of ideas for Halloween all year round from Tesco Living Online” (living?) including “no-carve Halloween pumpkin ideas”. And then there are recipes for “eerie pear ghosts” and “eyeball cake pops”.

And – oh look – costumes!. Mmm, let’s see … Second Skin Mummy costume? Bit difficult over a fur coat.  What about a Minnie Mouse Halloween Dress Up costume? Could trigger a bit of an identity crisis. Skeleton Onesie? Might be a possibility. Glow-in-the-dark Skeleton Slippers? That’s more like it – something to keep your paws warm.

Why do I get the eerie feeling that I’m going to turn into my road one night soon to find that the duty cat has been replaced by a very small skeleton wearing glow-in-the dark slippers and licking its lips to remove the last traces of an eyeball cake pop? I blame Tesco.