Monday

Reverse into scaffolding pole and shatter back window of car.

Stow golf clubs in someone’s office for safekeeping.

Phone insurance company. Arrange for car to be recovered – as it’s insecure it can’t be recovered home for garage to pick up.

Courtesy car company phones up and arranges to connect me with a replacement car on Tuesday.

Recovery truck turns up and takes car away muttering something about Romford.

Garage wants to collect car for repair.

Tuesday

Collect courtesy car.

Phone garage to explain that I haven’t got the car.

Phone insurance company.

Phone company charged with recovering it (in Cheshire).

Phone company that they asked to do recovery.

Phone Green Flag, who actually did the recovery.

Wednesday

Car located in Croydon where it is being held hostage until the repair garage  pays the hostage takers £400 to transport it to Oxford. The repair garage (not unreasonably) is disinclined to do this. They don’t know why it’s in Croydon as the recovery company has 3 sites within 10 miles of Oxford.

I take the view that a) my contract is with the insurance company and b) I’ve got the use of the courtesy car until mine is repaired and leave them to sort it out.

Collect golf clubs.

Thursday

Advised that car is being moved to Oxford, although there was a threat to take it to Romford.

Friday

Garage in possession of car. General rejoicing.